*This story has since been updated and reposted at www.sites.google.com/jessiestoutepics
Once upon a time, there was a small red crab that lived in a small pond alongside her friends, the fish in the pond. They were all very close friends and loved to play and race together.
One day, they began to realize that the pond was shrinking! They were not going to fit much longer. Luckily, a large beautiful crane flew from a tree and landed next to the pond. "Hi, fish!" he said, "I have come to help you. I can carry you one by one in my mouth to a large pond not too far away. It is a pond big enough for you to all share comfortably!"
Luckily, the crab was very observant. She was certain that she had seen this same crane swoop down and EAT one of her fish friends. She listened to the crane persuade the fish to allow him to help, and reluctantly, she allowed the crane to take one of her friends. "I don't trust him," she said to the fish, after the crane left.
"We don't have any other options!" they responded.
The crab understood this and agreed.
The crane came back each day and carried another friend away each time.
Eventually, the crab was alone and very lonely. She spent her days crawling and swimming by herself. The crane came back to check for more fish one day and only found the crab.
The crane thought internally, "maybe this will do for food as well," and offered the crab the same deal he offered the fish.
The crab scratched her head for a moment and came to agree to his offer. The crane opened his mouth to allow the crab in, but she was smarter than him. She said "allow me to hold on around your neck, it will be a more comfortable ride for us both." Flustered and amidst hunger pangs, the crane agreed.
As they flew over the pile of dead fish bones in eye sight of the crab, the crane began to understand his mistake...the crab tightened his grip around the cranes neck and said "you will put me in the lake or you will not live long enough to regret your mistake."
Of course, the crane agreed.
Upon arrival, the crane gently set the crab down, but the crab did not let go.
"This is for all of my friends whom you've taken from me," said the crab. With a quick clipping motion, the crane was gone.
As the crab backed away from the bird, she realized the beauty of the new lake. It was vast, blue and teeming with life. It was truly all a crab could hope for.
"I could learn to like it here."
This story is pretty similar to the original story that I read. I used the same theme and characters, such as the crane eating the fish, and the crab outsmarting him. My intentions with this were to make the characters more realistic and relatable. So, I added dialogue, pronouns, and interests.
Once upon a time, there was a small red crab that lived in a small pond alongside her friends, the fish in the pond. They were all very close friends and loved to play and race together.
One day, they began to realize that the pond was shrinking! They were not going to fit much longer. Luckily, a large beautiful crane flew from a tree and landed next to the pond. "Hi, fish!" he said, "I have come to help you. I can carry you one by one in my mouth to a large pond not too far away. It is a pond big enough for you to all share comfortably!"
Luckily, the crab was very observant. She was certain that she had seen this same crane swoop down and EAT one of her fish friends. She listened to the crane persuade the fish to allow him to help, and reluctantly, she allowed the crane to take one of her friends. "I don't trust him," she said to the fish, after the crane left.
"We don't have any other options!" they responded.
The crab understood this and agreed.
The crane came back each day and carried another friend away each time.
Eventually, the crab was alone and very lonely. She spent her days crawling and swimming by herself. The crane came back to check for more fish one day and only found the crab.
The crane thought internally, "maybe this will do for food as well," and offered the crab the same deal he offered the fish.
The crab scratched her head for a moment and came to agree to his offer. The crane opened his mouth to allow the crab in, but she was smarter than him. She said "allow me to hold on around your neck, it will be a more comfortable ride for us both." Flustered and amidst hunger pangs, the crane agreed.
As they flew over the pile of dead fish bones in eye sight of the crab, the crane began to understand his mistake...the crab tightened his grip around the cranes neck and said "you will put me in the lake or you will not live long enough to regret your mistake."
Of course, the crane agreed.
Upon arrival, the crane gently set the crab down, but the crab did not let go.
"This is for all of my friends whom you've taken from me," said the crab. With a quick clipping motion, the crane was gone.
As the crab backed away from the bird, she realized the beauty of the new lake. It was vast, blue and teeming with life. It was truly all a crab could hope for.
"I could learn to like it here."
(Christmas Island Crab photo. Taken from google images.)
Authors Note:This story is pretty similar to the original story that I read. I used the same theme and characters, such as the crane eating the fish, and the crab outsmarting him. My intentions with this were to make the characters more realistic and relatable. So, I added dialogue, pronouns, and interests.
Biliography. "The Cunning Crane and the Crab" by W. H. D. Rouse. http://thejatakas.blogspot.com/2017/08/0143-cunning-crane-and-crab.html.
I liked the way you wrote the story from the perspective of the crab and made the characters more life-like. I also chose to write my story about the Crane and the Crab, it was the most interesting and had a satisfying and happy ending. I really like what you did with it!
ReplyDeleteWriting the story from a kind of point of view from the crab definitely made it more relatable. Using more realistic (contemporary) dialogue makes this story more approachable than the original too. Adding the interests was a subtle touch that added more personality to the crabs, and I ended up thinking that they were young just from the small detail that they played and raced together.
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