Aside from the crickets that chirped eerily, the forest was completely silent. The faintest light of dawn began to creep through the trees and melt the fog that dusted the grass. The two battalions stepped lightly, attempting to keep the element of surprise. A half a mile back, both directions, waited a plethora of army tanks and artillery supplies that were fully intended for use.
A single cry was bellowed.
This signaled the beginning of the battle that would change everything.
Shots flew through the trees and explosives deafened all those nearby.
Bhishma and Arjuna took turns attacking enemy lines, both causing great loss of troop members. Many lives were lost, but as the rocket exploded signaling the end of the first day, none were prepared for what was to come.
On day 3 of the battle, the Pandavas created a crescent formation, silently approaching the enemy from 3 different angles. The army was completely taken off guard and were unequipped to defend themselves, resulting in great loss. Men were so driven to fight that even after being fatally injured, they conjured the strength to keep fighting until dusk approached. The aftermath of this day of fighting was massive. Tanks were turned on their sides, some even exploded. Bodies were heaped on top of each other, making it nearly impossible to walk through the forest without stepping on one.
More days passed, each resulting in life loss on both sides of the battle. Upon the 7th day, Bhishma dominated the battle. He directed his troops in such a way as to not be stopped. The following day, though, the Pandavas killed Arjuna's son.
Authors note:
This story was originally set in ancient India. I chose to rewrite it in a more modern setting. Rather than loud, crashing drums, I had them sneaking into battle. I also changed the fighting to be done with modern weaponry such as guns and explosives. I also made an attempt to create a more vivid visual appeal.
Mahabharata PDE: The Battle Begins
Source. Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie
A single cry was bellowed.
This signaled the beginning of the battle that would change everything.
Shots flew through the trees and explosives deafened all those nearby.
Bhishma and Arjuna took turns attacking enemy lines, both causing great loss of troop members. Many lives were lost, but as the rocket exploded signaling the end of the first day, none were prepared for what was to come.
On day 3 of the battle, the Pandavas created a crescent formation, silently approaching the enemy from 3 different angles. The army was completely taken off guard and were unequipped to defend themselves, resulting in great loss. Men were so driven to fight that even after being fatally injured, they conjured the strength to keep fighting until dusk approached. The aftermath of this day of fighting was massive. Tanks were turned on their sides, some even exploded. Bodies were heaped on top of each other, making it nearly impossible to walk through the forest without stepping on one.
More days passed, each resulting in life loss on both sides of the battle. Upon the 7th day, Bhishma dominated the battle. He directed his troops in such a way as to not be stopped. The following day, though, the Pandavas killed Arjuna's son.
Authors note:
This story was originally set in ancient India. I chose to rewrite it in a more modern setting. Rather than loud, crashing drums, I had them sneaking into battle. I also changed the fighting to be done with modern weaponry such as guns and explosives. I also made an attempt to create a more vivid visual appeal.
(The Battle Continues. Taken from Wikimedia.)
Mahabharata PDE: The Battle Begins
Source. Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI like your use of tanks! Sounds like a crazy, active battle scene. It's sad that Arjuna's son was killed! Maybe a little more detail about that is merited, since he's a main character.
Britt
Hey again Jessie. I really enjoyed the modern context that you put this story in. It is much easier to imagine a battle with modern weaponry than it is to imagine chariots and sword fights. Your descriptions of the battle were very detailed, and I could picture everything that was going on. It would be really interesting to hear more about how and why Arjuna’s son was killed at the end there.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessie! I really enjoyed reading your story! You put in a lot of descriptive details and imagery that really helped me to picture the scene in my mind. I think that this is a really important skill in writing. I also like that you changed the setting to fit an easier style for everyone to understand. Knowing your audience is also a big part of writing and you did so well with that. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello again Jessie! I really liked how you wrote your story. You do a good job of setting the mood by starting out with the description of the scene as you do. It does a good job of painting a picture for the reader to imagine the characters interacting in. I think it would be nice to make your picture that you included a bit bigger so it's easier to see, but besides that great job with this story.
ReplyDelete